Tag Archives: Weight Gain

I don’t have a problem.

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Choking down celery.

I love food. Almost all of my posts make some reference to food, my love for it, going to get it, not being able to move because I ate so much my pants won’t zip and I have to be in a horizontal position so I can suffer less than if I were standing.

Sometimes I spend time thinking about Anorexia — and how there is no way in hell, even if the only thing available for eating was mushrooms, would I be able to not eat. Maybe for about an hour and then my hunger would take over and I’d devour the mushrooms, gagging them down the whole way. Barf, makes me want to barf thinking about it. Mushrooms… and raw tomatoes happen to be two of the things I don’t want in my mouth. Ever.

Back to eating. I think about it. I remember being in high school, in Hawaii on vacation, and right after eating breakfast I wanted to know where we were eating lunch and dinner. Why you ask? Oh, because I wanted something to look forward to. As if HAWAII wasn’t enough.

I get to work in the morning and begin planning out my snacking schedule in my head — right up there with my to do list and checking all my emails.

9:17 – WALNUTS AND A TOOTSIE POP!

10:46 – APPLE WITH PEANUT BUTTER AND HONEY!

12:32 – LUNCH, It’s time for LUNCH!!

2:13 – COOKIE TIME!!

I really am that excited, but only in my head. So, when it comes time to diet or eat “healthy”, my whole being suffers. It’s hard for me to dream about celery or fantasize about dried peas. So instead I dwell on everything I can’t eat, like that cinnamon roll with the cream cheese frosting or a good ‘ol box of mac ‘n cheese.

Knowing all of this, I have to tell you that I’ve gain a bit of weight. I haven’t gained 50 lbs. or anything, but I’ve gained more than I would have liked. Damn all that delicious pizza and birthday cake I consumed over the month of August.

I weighed the most I’ve ever weighed mid-way through my senior year in college. I spent the next 5-6 months working out, eating little and building some unhealthy habits. But, I lost about 20 lbs and kept most of it off until this summer when I threw caution into the wind and ate like crazy. I’m blaming part of it on having a roommate and a boyfriend that throughly enjoy delicious food. Cheesecake anyone? The answer is almost always a resounding yes.

So, I’m trying to get healthy, again. Trying  get back down to where I was and then some, but do it in a healthier way. I’m nervous. Losing weight sucks because not eating french fries sucks. But, that’s not why I’m nervous.  I’m nervous because I’m telling you, and you, and you. And now I have to be accountable. I have a fear of failure… so be nice. K?

*Photo Credit: B Tal

A little something I learned this weekend.

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It’s June. The middle of June, but it seems that mother nature has failed to get this memo. So, in order to move things on I have written a brief letter on behalf of myself and all of those in Colorado:

Dear Mother Nature,

Get with the freaking picture and work on summer and summer like temperatures.

Thankyouverymuch,

Megan and the rest of the state of Colorado

Why I cannot live in the rain.

And back to our regularly scheduled programming: For as long as I can remember I have loved rain. I love the smell, the sound, the laziness, the everything that is rain. I always thought I was meant for the pacific northwest. I knew I needed to live in Seattle or Portland or somewhere else where rain was the primary weather. I thought if only it rained every single day that I would be infinitely happy. Well, that entire thought process, that was years in the making, changed drastically this weekend.

The weather this past weekend, well really the past 4-5 days has included rain/constant drizzle, fog, gray skies, temperatures in the 40′s and overall gloomy weather. This is not how it is supposed to be in Colorado, in June. For the freaking record.

I have since devised the top 10 reasons that I cannot live in a constantly rainy climate, all learned this weekend:

1.) Productivity will be 0. My mind will be completely and utterly occupied with thoughts of hot chocolate, fireplaces and good books. Day dreaming would hit an entirely new level.

2.) Weekends, what weekends? I will spend the entire weekend wanting to nap or snuggle. Because, after all the rain is perfect for napping and snuggling and doing absolutely nothing.

3.) I will go broke. Why you ask? Because movies are also perfect for rainy weather and I will spend my non-existent fortune on going to movies and buying cheesy chick flicks to watch from my bed. While drinking hot chocolate. Note: Starbucks bill will also increase due to hot chocolate consumption.

4.) I will get fat. See #1 and #3 for my activity levels and hot chocolate consumption which will be considerable contributors to my weight gain. But the major issue will be all the comfort food (mac n’ cheese, cake, potato soup) that I will make “because it’s rainy and I deserve it”. Who said curves and flub aren’t sexy.

5.) I will have to shave my head. My hair, here in CO, lives in a state of straight. I blow dry it straight and it more or less obediently behaves the rest of the day. However, with even the slightest hint of moisture, rain or humidity the waves break themselves out of their straightened ways and create a hodge  podge of trailer mess on top of my head. So I’d have to shave my head to accommodate.

6.) I’ll never look fashionable. Sweat pants are required on rainy days, which have their merits. Attractiveness is not one of them. Also, trying on clothes when it’s cold and rainy? Not going to happen. Just get used to the sweatpants, there isn’t any other option.

7.) I will become a hermit. If traffic in Seattle/Portland/Other rainy cities is anything like Denver in the rain I wouldn’t handle it very well. There would be tears and shaken fists. After a few months I would most likely decide that traveling about isn’t worth my effort and hole up to watch movies in bed wearing sweat pants. Never leaving.

8.) I would become a drunk. Turns out that rain can make a girl like me feel a little down. Maybe it’s all that time to really sit and think and dwell and wonder. And then realize that life is full of all sort of complexities and that those complexities would be easier understood with a glass or two or three of red wine. Everyday. In the rain.

9.) My insurance would drop me. I’m a klutz and I fall, trip, slip and run into things on quite the regular basis. Now add slippery, wet conditions to my life and I’d become a regular resident of the local hospital. But, casts/stitches/bruising is really not all that appealing given my fear of needles and other pointy, stabby, broken things. After the incessant medical bills my insurance company would provide a tidy break-up letter.

10.) I’m out of ideas. So #10 is dedicated to my sad realization that I am not meant for rain. I’m also not meant for tiny swim suits. What?!? They are both water related.

So that’s what I learned. I have high hopes for the sunshine and high temperatures that are “predicted” for the coming week. Come on Mother Nature, I can only handle so many of your weather shenanigans.

I’m about to gain 10 lbs.

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I'd consider selling my soul for one of these.

I’m in the great state of Pennsylvania this weekend. I’m certain that anyone who has come into contact or had more than a 10 second interaction with me over the past month believes I’ll be arriving in Philadelphia with a bib strapped on, fork in hand. When it comes to Philadelphia all I talk about is the food. And my friend Liz. Obviously.

So far in my life there are two great cities for eating — I know there are probably a million more out there, but right now I just can’t seem to wrap my head around anything but the deliciousness in San Fransisco and Philadelphia. They’re both like Las Vegas for eating… What happens in Philly stays in Philly. We won’t mention the 5,000 calories I consumed that day or the bottle of wine and cake I had with dinner. Which of course never happened. I’ve been eating “healthy” (cough, ahem) the past few weeks with full anticipation that it would all go flying out the window once I landed in the capital of Philly Cheese steaks and canned cheese. When it’s time to return someone will have to pry a sandwich out of my plumped up hands. But that’s where I am. In case you’re wondering. Full update on my Philly adventures to come.